The idea is that we only fall in love with three people throughout our lives. While we may enjoy the company of many others, these are the ones that genuinely impact us and force us to change. The hard part is moving on from those who have marked us so profoundly, but it’s something we must do to make way for the essential kind of love—the third one.
Our First Idealistic Love
During this love, we’re still trying to figure out who we are, how we love, and how we want to be loved. We have an uneven balance of needs because we don’t even know what they are, let alone how to ask for them. We are ignorant; we don’t know much. Likewise, we idealize, but accordingly, we learn from it.
It’s A Love Full Of Judgement. Why?
We often stay with our first love out of obligation to them, our families, or society. We ignore the warning signs that something is wrong and try to make it work, even though we know it’s not suitable for us deep down. It is because we don’t yet know what true love is supposed to feel like.
Our first loves can often be toxic because we refuse to acknowledge their faults. We become blind to their wrongdoings and instead justify their behavior. This justification leads to commitment and trust issues which follow us into future relationships.
First, it loves to make us prioritize how our partner sees us over how we see ourselves. It’s not until we walk away from this love, no matter how good it feels, that we begin to find ourselves again.
The Second Messy Love.
The second love is often messier than the first. We may think that if we stick it through, we’ll eventually get back to the way things were before or reach the potential of the future. Unfortunately, that’s not usually how it works out. This love is full of trial and error as we try to figure out what does and doesn’t work for us.
It’s Full Of Trial And Error.
The problem with the second love is that many think they can stick it through. They hold on to memories of the past or future potential.
And this is not happening. Manipulation, abuse, mental disorders, and conflicts are often present here. We lose ourselves. We become disillusioned with love in general.
The Unplanned Third Love
The third unplanned love is usually the one that happens when you least expect it. You’re generally in a good place, and love isn’t even on your mind, then you meet someone who doesn’t even seem like the type you would go for, and BOOM, you’re in love.
This person may not have been our type, but something about them clicks. It is often the healthiest and most long-lasting relationship based on mutual respect and understanding.
Some Never Make It To The Third. Why?
Some people never make it to the third love. There are a few reasons for this. Maybe they’ve been hurt too many times and have given up on love altogether. Perhaps they’re still hung up on their first love and can’t move on. Or maybe they’re just content with being single and don’t feel the need to be in a relationship. If you find yourself in this category, don’t worry. You’re not necessarily doomed to a life of loneliness. You may need more time to heal or figure out what you want.
Love Is Patient; Love Is Kind
Just remember that love is patient, and love is kind. It will come when you least expect it and are ready for it. In the meantime, focus on enjoying your life and on being the best version of yourself that you can be.
Love comes in many forms and at different times in our lives. We may not always fall in love with the same type of person or at the same time, but each love is special and unique. Just remember to keep your heart open and enjoy the ride. Who knows? The following person you fall in love with could be the one you spend the rest of your life with.
Do you agree with this theory? Have you experienced these three types of love in your lifetime?
