I used to wait for the universe to give me an everyday life magically, but this did not happen.
I worried about all the work I had left on my master’s thesis and berated myself for taking the day off to hang out with friends when I should have been working. Suddenly, my throat tightened, my chest tightened, and my hands shook so much that I was convinced I would lose control of the car.
I was waiting for a magic solution, a miraculous savior, a quick fix that would lift me out of my near-constant state of anxiety. I was waiting for the universe to wave a magic wand and finally give me an everyday life. It did not happen.
I have been worried for a very long time—about everything.
I was worried about what people thought about me. I was concerned about my health. I was even anxious that perhaps I wouldn’t be able to have the career path that I wanted. So, to deal with these challenging emotions, I turned to food and alcohol, and sex as coping mechanisms. And for a very long time, they worked. But then, one day, I realized that these things were numbing my anxiety and fears, but they weren’t making them go away. They were making them worse.
I couldn’t live like this anymore. That was when I knew I had to change something. And that’s when I decided to change my habits.
That was three years ago.
It is how I live now and what I have learned:
1. Pay attention to your autopilot.
Awareness of how we live our daily lives—the choices we make, the people we surround ourselves with, and the stories we tell—helps us remember who we are and what we want.
When you become aware of what you’re doing, you have the power to choose a different course of action the next time you find yourself in that scenario, practicing a habit that isn’t serving you.
I have to be honest here. It takes time.
Action Step: Take a moment to think about times when you already know your habitual autopilot is taking over. What can you do in those moments to break that pattern, re-engage with the world, and make a different choice?
2. Focus on your physical sensations.
Another great way to start new habits is to focus on how they make us feel in our bodies.
When I started paying attention to my body, I noticed how different ideas affected me in distinct ways. Anxiety made my body feel stiff, tense, and achy, while peaceful thoughts made it soft, calm, and relaxed. It assisted me in focusing on my breathing instead of the “fake” world in my head.
Action Step: Start your day by asking yourself one of these questions:
- “How do I want to feel today?”
- “What do I want to practice today?”
- “How do I want to live today?”
3. Determine the intention.
If we intend to be kind, compassionate, or generous in the morning, we are also much more likely to take advantage of the opportunity to do so later in the day. It helps us make decisions that align with the people we want to be because our intentions stay fresh in our minds.
Action Step: Set an intention for each day or the week ahead. Please write it down somewhere you will see it often, like on your bathroom mirror, car, or computer at work.
The three steps I mentioned above are just a few daily practices that have helped me create a happy life for myself.
Remember, the secret to a happy life is hidden in your daily habits. So look at your patterns and see what you can change to create more happiness for yourself!
Daily practices for a happy life:
- Kindness
- Compassion
- Generosity
- Adoption
- Non-judgment
- Presence
- Hearing
- Forgiveness
- Relaxation
What they look like in our lives will be different for each of us, but their intent is the same — to notice our destructive habits and make other choices.
What are some tips for developing positive habits and creating lasting happiness?
